You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
