she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
