i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize