You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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