She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
