he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
