And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My pussy is not your playground.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
