office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
