don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
