Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
