; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
MIDGETS
????
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
