If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
