The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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