So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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