Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
