Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
