pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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