I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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