i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
