I want you more than these girls want KFC
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
