Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
