Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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