when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
