it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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