Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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