I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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