Its about making memories worth repressing
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
