So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sext me about skeletons
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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