dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
