It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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