I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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