All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
