you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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