The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
