how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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