Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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