I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize