Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
