TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
