so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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