Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
as a side note pls kill me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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