Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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