I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
