you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Can I color on your dick again?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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