No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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