im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is that strawberry winking at me??
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
