Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
