watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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