Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
