Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
