she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
