I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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