Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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