Swine flu. Run for my life!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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