you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize