She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
