people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
